Reality for me

Most people see me as the person that "Parties like a rockstar!!!"  A person that lives without looking back. When in reality I've accepted the simple fact "You only live once."

My life is filled with ups and downs, and at times it feels like only sown. But I choose not to express it to the world. I've been depressed before, contemplated suicide before and went as far as being a cutter. But I'm way past that. A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and damn near lost my mind. I had no idea exactly what it was or what obstacles I'd be facing, all I knew was I had it and there was no cure. So instead of facing it, I ignored it and continued to "live". Prior to being diagnosed my main personal goal was to just travel the world, and I've been traveling.. Shortly after being diagnosed I went on vacation and got so sick in Mexico I thought I was going to die in my hotel room (Presidential suite at that). Fortunately, the Dr paid me a visit and gave me a shot in the buttox with the longest needle I had ever seen, and I lived. Soon after I went to Antigua for 2 weeks, had a great time, although most of it is still a blur but the pictures posted all over their government website remind me of how awesome it was.

 Since returning from Antigua I have been contemplating my next trip. But Reality set in and I had a symptom flare up. My right side went numb.. Not dead, but numb. Kinda like that feeling you get when your leg falls asleep, but 24/7. My arm and leg feel this way all day and night, sometimes it's more annoying than others. So my focus has changed. Now instead of trying to hop on the next flight, I'm making my Dr appointments and sticking to them.. I'm even scheduled to start treatment this year.. I admit, I am nervous as hell about all of it, but I am determined to Live! I refuse to let some disease stop me from reaching my goals. I will travel the world, I will step foot on every continent before the age of 40yrs old. I just have to take better care of myself to do it..

As of lately I am becoming more comfortable speaking about it. I've been researching it, reading about the treatments and although I'm afraid, I know I have to face it... Periodically I will blog about it.

What I'd like to leave you with is, Never judge a person by their pictures. Everyone is going through something. No one has the "Perfect Life". All you can do is Live while you're Alive.

Sooooooo I went to see the neurologist today for the results from my MRI last week and he said I DO NOT HAVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS !!!!!!! Very very interesting.. I believe in miracles and I do believe in GOD !!!